A Weight Has Been Lifted

While I wait, I've been trying to immerse myself in any and all things Russian. So, when I noticed that an agency I've been looking into was holding a cultural event, I decided to go. They were hosting a Russian Folk Musical Group. Yea, road trip!

My mom came with me. I am sooooo lucky she is very supportive. I think having such a supportive family makes all the difference! It was great to be able to spend some quality time with my mom. Life is hectic and for the whole drive there and back we talked and talked. It was a decent drive except on the way back, it must have been skunk night!! Ugh!! Every few miles those little buggers would make themselves known...even when we got into our state!! PPPPUUUUUU!!

This musical group was very talented!!! I'm listening to their Cd's as I type=). I definitely enjoyed myself and I guess it showed. The band leader came up to me afterwards and said "It sure looked like you enjoyed the music." LOL!! The great thing is, they donate part of the proceeds to orphanages in Russia. So far, in the 10 or more years they have been in the US, over $100,000 has been raised!!! They tour all over the US. I had to crack up though. They mentioned that the night before they had played for over 100,000 people and then, I look around and they were playing for about 30 people...if that!!! Crazy! I got a kick out of all the kids. They all just automatically started dancing..like it was just in their blood and they remembered!!! =)

I said in a previous post that it seems like whenever I start to question this whole process, I somehow get a sign from the Man Upstairs to keep pushing along and to be patient. Well, the director/owner just happened to be there. What luck of mine! I asked to speak with her and she was very happy to. We started talking. I think I've mentioned before that I look really young. I usually get about 17...and I'm almost 25....Well, on goes our conversation and the director went on to say she thought I was one of their grown up adoptees!!!! OMG!!!! I had to laugh but at the same time, I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed!!! LOL!!! We all got a good laugh!! But anyway..through our conversation, she reassured me that my situation is fine and that it wouldn't be a problem...I'm young, healthy, etc. Even though it was late, she offered to give ud a tour of the offices/building, explained more things/the process, and answered any questions I had. I felt very comfortable and at ease. I appreciated that!

Now, onto more waiting and hopefully that agreement is signed SOON!!!

Thank You For The Music

For as long as I can remember, music has always been a big part of my life. Actually, when I stop and think about it, music has to do with many of the memories I have! I come from a musical family and music is embedded in many of our traditions. I have blurry memories of my mom, sister, and I making cookies at Christmas. We'd listen to "The Nutcracker Suite" by Tchaikovsky ( f.y.i a Russian composer) and thinking "I can't reach the table" and having to kneel. I was pretty young. Every holiday (Christmas, Birthday's, Family Sunday's, etc) with out fail, someone would whip out a guitar or play a piano and we'd all sing together. I remember thinking, my Grandpa was an absolute genius. We'd drive up North or someplace and he knew the name of every song on his radio station, the year it came out, and would then tell me a story or a memory he had of it.

This helped shape my love and appreciation for all types of music. Growing up I did theatre, choir, etc., and now have the opportunity to sing and play the drums with bands, record with local artists, and am blessed to cantor (lead the congregation in song) at my church. Everyone has their crutch and music has always been mine. I love how music can be everything from a joy to an extreme comfort and say the things we often can't. I'm so thankful God has given me the special gift of song and music. It is especially comforting now, when I hear a song that gives me hope and peace during this trial period. I hope one day I am able to share the love of music with my child. The song "Thank You for The Music" from Mamma Mia, says it all for me.

Thank You For The Music
I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore
When I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
cause everyone listens when I start to sing
I'm so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk
She says I began to sing long before I could talk
But I often wonder, how did it all start?
Who found out that nothing could capture a heart
Like a melody can?
Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

What's Meant to Be, Will Be

I always seem to start with "I haven't posted in a while...," and here I go again...

The summer is coming to an end and for some reason, I feel it's the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one...in more ways than one. For starters, my sister got engaged in the beginning of August. I'm very happy and excited for her! She is over the moon! I can't believe my big sister is getting married!!! =) She has been with her fiance (strange to say that now,lol) for over 3 1/2 years!! They just seem meant for each other. They have set the date to next July. Our family is headed for some awesome changes! Especially for my mom...she'll be giving one daughter away and (hopefully) gaining a grandson (again, hopefully) not very long after. I'm super excited for this new chapter in our family story!

There hasn't been any new news about the adoption agreement. I'm am soooo anxious for it to be published! So many things are up in the air and I feel left with so many doubts. Yet, I still have very high hopes that this is what I'm meant to do. I start to have doubts but then God gives me signs of the path I need to take. They couldn't be any clearer and then my hopes are restored. God placed adoption in my heart a very long time ago for a reason and it is now just beyond my reach. I believe he is trying to teach me patience and testing my true faith.

Music is very important in my life and always has been. Anyone who knows me know this. I feel very blessed to be able to share my talent with others. Isn't it funny how many emotions music can evoke? The songs "Keeping Me Guessing" by Francesca Battistelli and "I Have A Dream" from Mamma Mia explain so well this situation!! I don't know how my story ends, but since God is in control, when the time is right for me, I'll cross that darn stream!

Keeping Me Guessing
Coffee cup waking me up
I gotta board a plane
And fly away
sometimes it feels like I’m
going at the speed of light

Can’t relax I’m movin to fast
I wanna find the gold
But I don’t have a map
I wish that I could know
What you’ve got in store for me

I try and try to read your mind
But I forget that patience is a virtue
Your teachin me to hold on tight

And I don’t know how the story ends
But I'll be alright cause you own it
I don’t know where the highway bends
But I’m doing just fine
Cause your in control
Even when I don’t know
Where my life’s gonna go
You’re keeping my guessing

Slow me down, show me around
I wanna see the world that I’ve been without
I am here and now the future is out of my hands
I trust in you and how you move
I won’t forget that patience is a virtue
You’re teaching me to hang on tight

Cause I don’t know how the story ends
But I’ll be alright cause you own it
And I don’t know where the highway bends
But I’m doin just fine
Cause your in control
Even when I don’t know
Where my life’s gonna go
You’re keeping me guessing

Seasons come and seasons go
But you decide

And I don’t know how the story ends
But ill be alright cause you own it
I don’t know where the highway bends
But I’m doing just fine
(repeat x2)

You’re in control
Even when I don’t know
Where my life’s gonna go
You’re keeping me guessing

You’re keeping me guessing


I Have A Dream
I have a dream
A song to sing
To help me cope
With anything
If you see the wonder
Of a fairy tale
You can take the future
Even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream

I have a dream
A fantasy
To help me through
Reality
And my destination
Makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness
Still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream
I'll cross the stream

I have a dream
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream