Well, it's definitely been a long time coming for this post. I haven't updated the blog because well, there was really nothing to update it with! Things were at a stand still and so far, everything that could go wrong found a way to do just that! I am happy to say, I have a HUGE update and it feels like a MAJOR accomplishment... My completed dossier was delivered to my agency today!! I am sooooooo excited. I definitely feel like a kid in a candy store and could just jump up and down with excitement! I thought I would never get to this point and I'm FINALLY here! It's just a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I know there is still a long journey ahead, but I am now one step closer to the little boy that is my son!!!

I'm still here..

Wow!! It's been quite a few months since I've posted!! I'm still here!!

First off..I hope everyone out there in bloggy land has had a(let's see how many holidays have passed) Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!! I can't believe that it's January of 2012 already!!

I signed with my agency in February of 2011 and I definitely thought I'd be home with my little boy by now. I first want to say that this huge time lapse has nothing to do with my agency. In May 2011, they thought...according to my first homestudy date in June, I would be traveling to meet my lil guy by the end of the summer. They have been supportive and keep "checking in" with me but let me tell ya..each time they do it stings. I'm doing everything I can..and trust me...no one wants to meet and bring that lil guy home more than me!!

I've had quite a few set backs! While I have some really supportive people in my circle, I am finding out the one's who are not and it is surprising! I'm really glad I'm finding out now instead of later!! On the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm surprised to find out that some of my most supportive..well..supporters, are people I never would have thought to be..cray how things turn out!!!

I know God has a plan. All I can do now is continue to pray that whatever child is meant to be mine, is being cared for and has known love. Adoption from Russia has been in my heart for over 3 years now. Crazy huh!?!? God must have opened my heart to adopting a child from Russia for a reason. Throughout these last 3 years, that has been my goal and many of my decisions in life have been made around this, for this. Let me tell ya..it's been quite exhausting!! God opened my heart and I feel very strongly that this is what I'm supposed to do! Many, Many, Many obstacles have come up so far. But each time, I have been able to push a head and God clearly opens the path back up. I keep asking for prayers. God hears the multitudes!!!

I have 2 homestudy visits down and one to go. I've already had several documents expire..better get used to that..so I've heard anyway! =) I hope to start working on my little guys room very soon. This is part of one obstacle--waiting for my sister to come take her old bedroom furniture to her new home! Once she does, I can then schedule my last visit!! I am getting closer!! Prayers are needed because I feel like I'm at a standstill!!!!

This Christmas I received a present that has become very special to me. I think it was more of the thought behind it than anything else. I was asked what I wanted for Christmas. Well, I said I didn't really know how to answer this cause things are things. I have every "thing" that I really need. After losing my Grandpa, "things" don't really mean a whole lot. It's having loving, supportive, kind, caring, and reliable people in life that mean the most and make a difference. My little doggie is my complete WORLD (yes, I just typed that for the whole WWW to read, lol..I seriously don't know what I would do without her)and family is super important. Anyone close to me would probably know my response. I just want my lil guy home!! I knew that it wasn't possible tho, lol. Well, I mentioned many times in the past to this person about hedge hogs being part of Russian fairy tales and they know about matyoshkas. Much to my surprise, I unwrapped a Pandora bracelet with a hedge hog and a matryoshka charm!! Sooo sweet!! When I wear it, it makes me feel that much closer to my future little Russian!! Hopefully soon I will get to see his sweet lil face!!

Please pray that God can open certain hearts and for the child that is meant to be my child!!

All In Due Time

Well, a lot has happened, good and bad, since my last post. Things have been crazy busy and I'm just trying to catch up and take things a day at a time. =) This delay has been beneficial in one aspect. I've been trying to work as much as humanly possible and take as many jobs as I can that come up. If I work over 50+ hours a week, so be it. Where there's a will there's a way!! I won't lie..funding this adoption is a huge stress factor for me.

BUT...I'll start with some good news...

Kitchen work is about to begin!! It was supposed to FINALLY start this morning but, here's some of the bad news...we lost power last night. Go figure. So, delayed again. I just want the power back on so they can start! Yes, it's sweltering hot, but I'm at the point of not caring about that. My furry baby is getting to leave and visit with everyone, so it's all good as long as she is comfortable. Just start on the darn kitchen so it can get done!!! I am so thankful that my mom is willing to get this much needed work done!

Other big news---My sister is getting married in just over a week!! I'm very excited for her!! Unfortunately, God chose to call my future brother in laws grandfather (like his dad since he lost his father at a very young age) suddenly last week. Terrible timing! He was 95 years old and left behind his 92 year old wife. They had been together 70 some years. I hope my bro-in-law will be able to find some peace during this time...=/

My sister has been clearing her old room out and I just can't wait! See, this will be my little Russian's room and as soon as all her stuff is out, I get to start it!! Sooooo excited! There is some major reorganizing going on in my house and between that and me working so many hours, I'm finding myself to be exhausted..lol. I know God has a plan and it will happen on his time, not mine. I find it ironic the way he works things and the people he chooses to send into my life and when. I'm just trying to hang on for this ride and hope it's smooth.

AND I hope this bilateral agreement is a positive!!

I Spoke Too Soon

I'm really trying to be patient about this whole kitchen update bit but it's really starting to wear me out. On Wednesday, I was given the start dates. I was pumped! I thought to myself, wow, it's finally happening. I had a minute today at work so I made my post, it's happening!! Well...I get home and I have a message. It's from the kitchen company. They are sorry to inform me, but their counter cutting guy just informed them, he is running behind and it will be another 4-5 weeks. WOW!! This is just soo upsetting!! So close but so far. I'm really getting frustrated! They want to do the whole job at one time, understandable, but we've been waiting waaayyy to long!

I'm tyring to be optimistic and say it's just not my time yet. It happens on God's time. He decides, not me. Since 2008, when I first had the calling to adopt a baby from Russia, I've been patient, aged, "researched," and prepared in every way possible. I'm definitely learning patience and my faith is being tested. I always get really close, but then it seems God says..."Try a little harder and just be patient. I will open the path but you have to be patient...and don't give up." This is happening for a reason. Maybe the child that's meant to be mine is not available yet for adoption? There are hundreds of possibilities! But God will make sure that I meet the child meant for me. I know, when I look in that little one's eyes, I will just know. Unfortunately, it's looking like it will be later, rather than sooner. I just pray that my little one is being cared for and knows love.

"God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try."
~Mother Teresa

I went to check out my post and I saw this quote..how fitting! I'm trying!!!!

Kitchen Start Dates!!!!

OMG!!! FINALLY!!!!! I have scheduled AND confirmed dates for the kitchen work to begin !!!

****Alleluia chorus, Angels Singing, and Bells Ringing****

Final measuring day-Monday, June 20th

Start date- Tuesday, June 21st!!!

I'm sooo happy they are finally starting and sooo thankful/appreciative that my mom is doing this for the house!!

The Crib Has Landed!!

Yea!! Today was the day my Mom and I went and picked up the crib and dresser/changing table!!

OMG!!! It's huge!! My mom and I borrowed my Grandma's van (the nice stow and go seating mini van). I put all the back seats down and the dresser took up the ENTIRE back. Needless to say, we had to make two trips up there. The crib converts to a toddler/full bed and was so large that we had to take it out of the box in order for it to fit. Talk about heavy too! It took two Babies R Us employees and me to load but my mom and I managed to unload it...thank goodness! Phew..what a nice little work out!! =)

Many pieces of furniture throughout the house are made by the Amish. We would road trip to Ohio and order it. Just beautiful! I wanted to do the same with the baby room furniture but instead, just went to the local Babies R Us to see what they had. I saw a few sets that I liked and decided to order from them since I had a 20% off coupon, lol. When we ordered it, we were looking for a nursery set that had nice, solid wood since I plan to convert this to his "big boy/teenage" bedroom set(whoa...scary thought!!). Many of them weren't and I want to make sure it lasts. This set is awesome--but huge! I could probably fit in the crib once it's set up =) he he

Other news, I put a call out to my social worker to find out more about the home study! I hope to hear back from her and the kitchen people soon!!!

Update

I sat down at my computer to do an update and found a comment asking if I had any news =). Yes!! My internet has been down so this will be extra long..

Hopefully, everyone following my blog had a nice Easter! Mine was busy!! I am in choir at my church so along with Christmas, Easter is one of the busiest times. In one "weekend," we sing at the following masses..Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Saturday afternoon, and then Easter Sunday. On top of participating in all those masses, it has been our family tradition in recent years to go to the Easter Vigil mass (I've never felt so holy(= ). After, we come home and colored eggs and began the cooking! If I could find my camera cord, I would put up the picture of my little red, white, and blue Russian Easter egg that I made =). I keep wondering if my little guy has already been born. Was this his first Easter? =/

So...for the adoption update!!!

I'm going be be pessimistic first(sorry!!) I don't think I've ever been SO FRUSTRATED and ANNOYED in my life. I am aware...it's all part of the process =) and I bet there's more to come!

First, I faxed a VERY detailed letter and form to my insurance company explaining my adoption and what I was seeking. I gave them Step. By. Step. directions on what they needed to do. Hint...sign the prepared form and add their address. That's it. It's taken over 2 weeks so far. When I called, they said that it was still in the process of being "approved." Hmm..doesn't seem hard since their terms state that I can add a child anytime and this includes adopted children. Soooo, what's so hard about signing a form saying the child will be covered? Ugh..this little form needs just one signature and is holding up my registration.

Second rant. Before I can start my homestudy, there is work scheduled to be done in the kitchen. Mind you this was supposed to take place early/mid April and today is May 1st. I get a call and say those April dates have been changed and now are tentative for the first or second week in May. Ok..no big deal that was supposed to be... tomorrow. The living room in my o so small house now has dishes EVERYWHERE and looks like the kitchen department at mall. Well, I get a call last week, after I have this lovely kitchen display moved to my living room, and it is now bumped to two weeks later. Seriously?!?!?! I'm getting really ticked! So, now I'm looking at mid/late May. O and let me add...those dates are tentative. GRRR!! Come on people!!

I'm starting to get discouraged. I've been waiting, hoping and praying for over 2(!) years to start this adoption. I am so close to it happening but feel I've hit a brick wall..ugh! God has a plan and I just have to trust in his timing...no matter how long I wait or how hard it seems.

On to the good news!!! =)

When I spoke to my contact last week, she said they have been receiving a steady flow of referrals. That's good to know!!

I mentioned in a previous post that I went and put a down payment on a crib. Well, I feel so blessed that my mom finished paying for it and also got the matching drawer/changing table piece thingy. =) It should be at the store withing 7-10 days!!! EEKK!! I'm sooo excited!!

I had my eye on a bedding set and kept going back and forth about getting it and when. Well, I came prepared with my stack of coupons (it's the college student in me, he he). I was asking the sales lady(she had helped me earlier in the week) which ones I could use together, etc. So we got to talking. She asked was it for me or off of a registry. I said me and her eyes automatically looked at my stomach!! HA!!! If I was pregnant, you would definitely be able to tell on my 5'1 self. I had to chuckle. I then said that I was adopting a baby. We got into a really deep conversation then about adoption! It turns out, she was adopted! She shared that she has 3 other siblings. These siblings are biological children of her parents and her and her mom are the closest. This lady shared with me that she was so thankful that she had been adopted and her parents loved her as if they had given birth to her...it was so touching! Needless to say, we were both teary eyed when we ended our conversation! I think that just reaffirmed that what I'm doing is the right thing. I've spoken with many other adoptive parents, but felt that was such a special conversation to have with someone who had been adopted! Imagine that...all in the bedding department of Babies R Us!! =) he he

One more last thing..non adoption related. One of my best friends is getting married in 2 weeks!! I'm sooo excited for her! I love the dress she picked out for us bridesmaids AND I was able to find shoes that fit!! AMAZING!!!!