All In Due Time

Well, a lot has happened, good and bad, since my last post. Things have been crazy busy and I'm just trying to catch up and take things a day at a time. =) This delay has been beneficial in one aspect. I've been trying to work as much as humanly possible and take as many jobs as I can that come up. If I work over 50+ hours a week, so be it. Where there's a will there's a way!! I won't lie..funding this adoption is a huge stress factor for me.

BUT...I'll start with some good news...

Kitchen work is about to begin!! It was supposed to FINALLY start this morning but, here's some of the bad news...we lost power last night. Go figure. So, delayed again. I just want the power back on so they can start! Yes, it's sweltering hot, but I'm at the point of not caring about that. My furry baby is getting to leave and visit with everyone, so it's all good as long as she is comfortable. Just start on the darn kitchen so it can get done!!! I am so thankful that my mom is willing to get this much needed work done!

Other big news---My sister is getting married in just over a week!! I'm very excited for her!! Unfortunately, God chose to call my future brother in laws grandfather (like his dad since he lost his father at a very young age) suddenly last week. Terrible timing! He was 95 years old and left behind his 92 year old wife. They had been together 70 some years. I hope my bro-in-law will be able to find some peace during this time...=/

My sister has been clearing her old room out and I just can't wait! See, this will be my little Russian's room and as soon as all her stuff is out, I get to start it!! Sooooo excited! There is some major reorganizing going on in my house and between that and me working so many hours, I'm finding myself to be exhausted..lol. I know God has a plan and it will happen on his time, not mine. I find it ironic the way he works things and the people he chooses to send into my life and when. I'm just trying to hang on for this ride and hope it's smooth.

AND I hope this bilateral agreement is a positive!!

I Spoke Too Soon

I'm really trying to be patient about this whole kitchen update bit but it's really starting to wear me out. On Wednesday, I was given the start dates. I was pumped! I thought to myself, wow, it's finally happening. I had a minute today at work so I made my post, it's happening!! Well...I get home and I have a message. It's from the kitchen company. They are sorry to inform me, but their counter cutting guy just informed them, he is running behind and it will be another 4-5 weeks. WOW!! This is just soo upsetting!! So close but so far. I'm really getting frustrated! They want to do the whole job at one time, understandable, but we've been waiting waaayyy to long!

I'm tyring to be optimistic and say it's just not my time yet. It happens on God's time. He decides, not me. Since 2008, when I first had the calling to adopt a baby from Russia, I've been patient, aged, "researched," and prepared in every way possible. I'm definitely learning patience and my faith is being tested. I always get really close, but then it seems God says..."Try a little harder and just be patient. I will open the path but you have to be patient...and don't give up." This is happening for a reason. Maybe the child that's meant to be mine is not available yet for adoption? There are hundreds of possibilities! But God will make sure that I meet the child meant for me. I know, when I look in that little one's eyes, I will just know. Unfortunately, it's looking like it will be later, rather than sooner. I just pray that my little one is being cared for and knows love.

"God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try."
~Mother Teresa

I went to check out my post and I saw this quote..how fitting! I'm trying!!!!

Kitchen Start Dates!!!!

OMG!!! FINALLY!!!!! I have scheduled AND confirmed dates for the kitchen work to begin !!!

****Alleluia chorus, Angels Singing, and Bells Ringing****

Final measuring day-Monday, June 20th

Start date- Tuesday, June 21st!!!

I'm sooo happy they are finally starting and sooo thankful/appreciative that my mom is doing this for the house!!

The Crib Has Landed!!

Yea!! Today was the day my Mom and I went and picked up the crib and dresser/changing table!!

OMG!!! It's huge!! My mom and I borrowed my Grandma's van (the nice stow and go seating mini van). I put all the back seats down and the dresser took up the ENTIRE back. Needless to say, we had to make two trips up there. The crib converts to a toddler/full bed and was so large that we had to take it out of the box in order for it to fit. Talk about heavy too! It took two Babies R Us employees and me to load but my mom and I managed to unload it...thank goodness! Phew..what a nice little work out!! =)

Many pieces of furniture throughout the house are made by the Amish. We would road trip to Ohio and order it. Just beautiful! I wanted to do the same with the baby room furniture but instead, just went to the local Babies R Us to see what they had. I saw a few sets that I liked and decided to order from them since I had a 20% off coupon, lol. When we ordered it, we were looking for a nursery set that had nice, solid wood since I plan to convert this to his "big boy/teenage" bedroom set(whoa...scary thought!!). Many of them weren't and I want to make sure it lasts. This set is awesome--but huge! I could probably fit in the crib once it's set up =) he he

Other news, I put a call out to my social worker to find out more about the home study! I hope to hear back from her and the kitchen people soon!!!

Update

I sat down at my computer to do an update and found a comment asking if I had any news =). Yes!! My internet has been down so this will be extra long..

Hopefully, everyone following my blog had a nice Easter! Mine was busy!! I am in choir at my church so along with Christmas, Easter is one of the busiest times. In one "weekend," we sing at the following masses..Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Saturday afternoon, and then Easter Sunday. On top of participating in all those masses, it has been our family tradition in recent years to go to the Easter Vigil mass (I've never felt so holy(= ). After, we come home and colored eggs and began the cooking! If I could find my camera cord, I would put up the picture of my little red, white, and blue Russian Easter egg that I made =). I keep wondering if my little guy has already been born. Was this his first Easter? =/

So...for the adoption update!!!

I'm going be be pessimistic first(sorry!!) I don't think I've ever been SO FRUSTRATED and ANNOYED in my life. I am aware...it's all part of the process =) and I bet there's more to come!

First, I faxed a VERY detailed letter and form to my insurance company explaining my adoption and what I was seeking. I gave them Step. By. Step. directions on what they needed to do. Hint...sign the prepared form and add their address. That's it. It's taken over 2 weeks so far. When I called, they said that it was still in the process of being "approved." Hmm..doesn't seem hard since their terms state that I can add a child anytime and this includes adopted children. Soooo, what's so hard about signing a form saying the child will be covered? Ugh..this little form needs just one signature and is holding up my registration.

Second rant. Before I can start my homestudy, there is work scheduled to be done in the kitchen. Mind you this was supposed to take place early/mid April and today is May 1st. I get a call and say those April dates have been changed and now are tentative for the first or second week in May. Ok..no big deal that was supposed to be... tomorrow. The living room in my o so small house now has dishes EVERYWHERE and looks like the kitchen department at mall. Well, I get a call last week, after I have this lovely kitchen display moved to my living room, and it is now bumped to two weeks later. Seriously?!?!?! I'm getting really ticked! So, now I'm looking at mid/late May. O and let me add...those dates are tentative. GRRR!! Come on people!!

I'm starting to get discouraged. I've been waiting, hoping and praying for over 2(!) years to start this adoption. I am so close to it happening but feel I've hit a brick wall..ugh! God has a plan and I just have to trust in his timing...no matter how long I wait or how hard it seems.

On to the good news!!! =)

When I spoke to my contact last week, she said they have been receiving a steady flow of referrals. That's good to know!!

I mentioned in a previous post that I went and put a down payment on a crib. Well, I feel so blessed that my mom finished paying for it and also got the matching drawer/changing table piece thingy. =) It should be at the store withing 7-10 days!!! EEKK!! I'm sooo excited!!

I had my eye on a bedding set and kept going back and forth about getting it and when. Well, I came prepared with my stack of coupons (it's the college student in me, he he). I was asking the sales lady(she had helped me earlier in the week) which ones I could use together, etc. So we got to talking. She asked was it for me or off of a registry. I said me and her eyes automatically looked at my stomach!! HA!!! If I was pregnant, you would definitely be able to tell on my 5'1 self. I had to chuckle. I then said that I was adopting a baby. We got into a really deep conversation then about adoption! It turns out, she was adopted! She shared that she has 3 other siblings. These siblings are biological children of her parents and her and her mom are the closest. This lady shared with me that she was so thankful that she had been adopted and her parents loved her as if they had given birth to her...it was so touching! Needless to say, we were both teary eyed when we ended our conversation! I think that just reaffirmed that what I'm doing is the right thing. I've spoken with many other adoptive parents, but felt that was such a special conversation to have with someone who had been adopted! Imagine that...all in the bedding department of Babies R Us!! =) he he

One more last thing..non adoption related. One of my best friends is getting married in 2 weeks!! I'm sooo excited for her! I love the dress she picked out for us bridesmaids AND I was able to find shoes that fit!! AMAZING!!!!

A Big Milestone

I just wanted to say a very delayed "Thank You," for all the encouraging comments! They are definitely needed!! I've waited for sooo long to begin this journey. It is finally happening and things can't happen quick enough! I never really realized how involved and completely overwhelming this process is. I'm trying to stay positive and look at the things that are happening instead of the things that aren't. I read this quote somewhere and just love it..

"The journey only looks long from the beginning. When we look back up the path, the reality is, we can be happy we started or we can wish we had."

I know after I have my little one home, it will be soo worth it!

Other news, I've celebrated a long awaited milestone in this process! I've never been so excited to "get old-er!" =) Now that I've hit this milestone...I'd like to stop, thank you very much.. he he

Holy Paperwork!!

I can not believe it.

I've heard and read about the amount of paperwork that goes into an adoption from Russia and always thought--"Eh, it can't be that bad, I can do it." How silly of me!!! I got my adoption guide in the mail last week and I just about fainted! I really can not believe how much there is to do!! It just about crushed my "I can do anything," positive attitude. I have this new found respect for all the adoptive parents who have their children home. If there was a time I've ever needed any extra prayers, it would be now. It is very overwhelming! I know in the end it will all be worth it, but for now, I have to just take one document and day at a time. I'm completely stressed to say the least=/. I feel the road has been cleared for me thus far and just have to trust that God knows what he is doing and will give me the strength to accomplish this. BIG DEEP BREATH!!! =)

Brighter news, I've learned of the possible regions that my child may be in. I've always been hung up on this and was so anxious to find out. I love history and am now trying to learn as much as I can about these interesting places(and hoping they don't change) =). Sorry, can't say where though until after my little guy is home.

Another Step Taken

I finally did it!! I just got back from sending off my signed contract!! Another step in the right direction! I'm almost giddy =). There's lots more to do still, but with each passing step, I know I'm one step closer to holding that little baby in my arms =). I know it's going to be worth it! It just can't come fast enough=)!

I thought I wasn't going to make it to Fed Ex. We had about 12 inches of snow here last night and I got stuck...again...leaving my driveway. They never clear my street and having a small car is torture at the moment. I have gotten stuck countless time this winter. It took 3 of my neighbor's to get me out..an older man, a woman about 4'10 and young boy about 13. What a combo! I'm just thankful I got stuck now instead of when I leave for work..I leave at about 6AM!!

I miss my Jeep!!

Great Friends, Good Food!!!

So far in this journey I feel very blessed. I have many supportive family members and friends. Many of my good friends I have know since I was a young child.

I shared my awesome news of being accepted into the Russian program with my good friend "L." We met at 3 years old in our first tap dancing class =). When I told her, she said we have to go out and celebrate! I had this great idea--why not celebrate starting a Russian adoption by dining out at a Russian restaurant!! She was on board so the search began. I live in a pretty ethnic diverse area so it wasn't to hard to find one. To my surprise, she brought me a VERY nice card about following your dreams and started my little guy's Dr. Seuss collection with some board books--including one of my favorites.."Put Me In The Zoo!! I love the Dr. Seuss series! I am soooo appreciative that everyone is sharing in my excitement and being soooo supportive!! Thanks!!

Well, anyone who knows me knows I am an extremely, I repeat EXTREMELY, picky eater. I've always had it in the back of my head.."What am I going to eat in Russia--I'll starve!!" Well, good news!!! Turns out I won't!! I ordered pelmeni and it was good!! I eat pickles and turns out pickles are big there...I hate sweet pickles and the pickles served were like dill, but not quite. So if worse comes to worse, I'll live on Pelmeni and pickles...HA!!! O and don't forget...warm bread! =)

While waiting to start, I've learned quite a few phrases in Russian. I even taught my puppy how to "sit" in Russian. Before hand, I was all pumped and set on using my newly acquired language skills. Once I got there, I chickened out and didn't want to miss pronounce anything =). So I stuck to English.. until I worked up the courage to try it out. The Russian waiter came back and asked how everything was. I didn't want the experience of using the language to go by, so I told him I was going to test my Russian and proceeded to say "OH-chin F-KOOSS-na(delicious)." I guess I should have used it sooner because his response was very funny!! He was surprised and replied "spah-SEE-ba, spah-SEE-ba (thank you)!!" Meanwhile my friend "L" was cracking up. After that, their whole demeanor changed. Very friendly and attentive, lol. I guess it goes to show that in any culture, as long as you make the effort and try--even if in your attempt you completely butcher everything, it is appreciated. =)

It's Official!!!

In a previous post I mentioned that I had turned in some preliminary information to the agency and I was told everything "looked good." Well, yesterday it became OFFICIAL. I had to turn in a formal application to the agency and I was accepted!! I have officially signed with an agency! =) A BIG step! I am now reviewing the contract and will be sending that in soon, along with a fat check. I'm soo glad this next step is happening but can't help being a little sad. I've worked so hard to save all this time and just like that...it's gone!!! =( LOL! I'm so so excited to officially start though! Ok, this is cheesy, but I feel like my dreams are FINALLY starting to come true!! I have a LONG ways to go but every dream/journey begins with a single step...and I've taken it!!

Now that things are "progressing," I'm going to try and set up a timeline here on my blog.. Wish me luck--I need it!! I'm pretty computer illiterate!!

Also, I've started to share my news with a few more people. Up until this point, I've really only told my close friends and immediate family (and my soon to be brother-in-law). Recently, I've gotten some pretty funny reactions, including... a wide, open mouthed gasp (in a good way though--I think, he he). I lost it. Giggle city =). I've also gotten the questions..am I ready for 24/7(my thoughts to this person..I am, even though you weren't, and you're at least 15 years older than me!!), would this make it harder me to marry in the future (maybe..but it would just have to be an extra special guy to accept this and I have to be careful with my choices), But, all in all, I am very thankful that everyone seems very supportive and interested in the process.

I've never been so excited!!

Already..

Wow, I've just started and there's already paperwork "inconveniences." Lovely. Better start my Excel sheet of costs....*Sigh

On a cheerier note..I got a voice mail from my 7 year old godson/cousin last Friday..

"Michelle, can you come to my special person lunch at school on Thursday. Please?"

Completely made my Friday =). Man, how could I resist; he's such a cutie!! I'm so glad that it falls on a day and I actually can. He goes to the same grade school as I did but we didn't have this fun little lunch. It really is a cute little idea. Along with having lunch with their "Special Person," an activity is planned. I don't know exactly what, but I'm looking forward to spending some extra time with my little buddy! =) Being the youngest of five children, the extra, undivided attention is nice for him. He used to be my little extra appendage too. I saw him A LOT while he was growing up and pretty much everyday in the summer. I took him to church with me almost every weekend (still try to when I don't have choir)..enough that one elderly gentleman said "Your baby is the most well behaved baby I've ever seen." Ha Ha! I was 17ish, giggled, thanked him, and said, "His parents will be glad to hear that." =) And the man turned red. =)

More Updates and Retail Therapy!!

Wow, 2 posts in one day...a new record for me!!

I bought a nice journal about a year ago and said that I would start writing in that once I officially started my adoption process. I took it out the other night and made my first entry. =) I'm kind of a private person (the reason why I have no pictures on here) and find myself going into more detail about things there. Also, with me being so busy, I find it very hard to sit at the computer and blog. When I get home, I just want to spend time with my doggie. It's much more pleasant to snuggle up with her and write in the journal vs. having her lay by herself on the floor while I type away at the computer. I have that guilty mom syndrome already =).

I probably shouldn't be buying all the stuff that I do (and have bought), but one needs to do something while waiting for so long!!! Talk about RETAIL THERAPY!! I have talked about this adoption and my anxious feelings for so long, that I think my family is relieved that things are finally happening, lol, just to quit having to hear about it.=) My Grandma has said the whole time, "I don't get excited until things actually happen. It saves a lot of heartbreak if things don't work out." I wish I could take that stance!! My Grandma is such a strong women--she doesn't put up with any BS-- and is the most classy lady (and Mrs. Manners)I know!! I've always strived to be like her. The night I got back I visited her and she said "OOO, this means it's time to go shopping." =) The other day, I was talking about my purchases. Against my better judgement, I went and made a down payment on a new crib (no drop sided one's here--they were actually banned in my state recently) and bought a car seat and last week I bought an Ergo carrier. I feel great being able to finally buy the products I like instead of having to advise these new parents I work for on good products. Some take my advice and some don't--then finding out they should have, lol!! Frustrating!! My little guy has all his sippy cups--I bought some bottles/pacifiers to test out too--unfortunately I have no idea what he'll like. I also have towels, wash cloths, a variety of clothing sizes, some great Russian/adoption themed books and toys, etc.

Anyway, back to the point..my Grandma tells me "Stop buying stuff..you have to leave some things for me to buy." She's such a sweetheart!! I'm one of those independent people who won't ask for anything, but just knowing she wants to do this, from the bottom of my heart, it leaves me so grateful. She always has been like my second mom--the first person to hold me after I was born, and knowing that she's now getting excited and looking forward this journey, makes me sooo happy! I've always wanted my Grandma and Grandpa to get to meet my children and have them be as special to my children as they have been to me. Unfortunately, my Grandpa won't get to meet my little guy and that pretty much breaks my heart.=( I know he would just be so tickled to meet this little boy. He was seriously the world's greatest Grandpa (and dad to me) and would have loved to be a Great Grandpa.

I totally went off on a tangent with this post, lol! I think what I'm getting at is..everyone is now getting excited and I'm beginning to tell some of my extended family and more friends. I told my cousin the other day. She was an older first time mom and had premature twin girls...less than 2#'s at birth. I think I was about 14/15 and having lots of "kid" experience, went and stayed with her and her husband to help. I was the only one who could get the littler twin to eat (sometimes with out projectile vomiting) =) and it was a great experience!! They were on heart monitors and if they went off in the middle of the night, we'd both leap out of bed and each check on a baby. We'd both crack up about how quick we'd get in there and how disoriented we were!! I always thought a lot of her and since doing that, we have become a lot closer. I told her the other day and she seemed surprised. I asked her if she was shocked and she was like "No!" She wants to hear more about it and we are meeting next week to talk! =)

I'm soo happy that even more family supports me in this awesome decision! Many people are curious why I'm doing this now. I've said all along..anyone who really knows me, knows how I love kids and will understand. I'm glad that I'm finding this to be true!

UPDATES!!!

Sheesh..I've been so busy lately! With having that "pre approval," it has kicked things into high gear around here. It was needed and has basically let me know where I stand. I received the formal application and am filling that out and hope to have it in the mail on Monday!! Can't believe it's finally happening!!!

I just printed my homestudy packet on Thursday and have that filled out. I just need to write my autobiography..which I'm dreading...and keep putting off. I could be writing that right now instead of this post, ha!! I guess when someone has been in college as long as I have, it's understandable. I feel like it's another paper that needs to make "the grade," and it's really not that big of a deal--kind of. After waiting soooo long, I'm procrastinating now!! I have to admit this is a HUGE flaw of mine. One that I'd SERIOUSLY like to eliminate!! So far, I've found a lot of the questions on this stuff to be redundant. That's fine..I can handle that and all these nitty gritty details, but I HATE writing "papers!" Ugh!! I need to make that my #1 project at the moment. As soon as I send this packet back to my social worker and the first "official" fat check )=, it's time to schedule the first home visit!

The only problem is, I'm basically redoing my kitchen and bathroom within the next couple weeks. Some of the kitchen is the original stuff from when the house was built (ie: cupboards, green oven--you get the picture), still in ok shape but definitely could be spiffed up. My mom and I are going later today to check more things out. Anyone else have stuff being done while doing the homestudy? I feel like it would be better to have these improvements done BEFORE my little guy comes home instead of after. This way, there won't be all these "strangers" coming in and out while he's trying to adjust. Just my personal feelings on the matter!

IT'S HAPPENING!!!

I can finally say it, after over 2 years of waiting and endless prayers, I am starting my adoption!!! I just can't believe it!!!

I made a trip to the agency this weekend and finally turned in the paperwork. Before I left, I chatted with an agency person. She said EVERYTHING LOOKED GOOD!!!! I am over the moon and so very excited!!! I don't think I've ever been soooo excited to do tons of paperwork and spend money =). I bet it'll get old quick, but I know and keep hoping that at the end of all this, I'll have my little boy home, sooner rather than later!!

I know of many people and friends that have said prayers...it means a lot and I appreciate it! I ask everyone to please keep praying and don't stop!! =) I feel so blessed that so many friends and family members are supportive. I told my Grandma late last night and she said, "This means I'm going shopping." Too funny!!

The Lord sure works in mysterious ways!!

Patience, What's That?

Ok.. I'm known to be a very calm and mellow person and most of the time, pretty patient. Notice I said "most" of the time. Now is not one of those times. I think my patience just took a huge jump out the window!!! In my previous post I talked about needing to find out some info about "things" so I can send all my info to my selected agency. I'm still waiting. I know, I know, welcome to International Adoption!! Big *sigh here!!! I can't proceed without this info because it all pertains to "where I stand." Ugh!!! My mom suggested saying some prayers and that "God hears a strange voice.' I told her that my voice should be very familiar by now!!!! =>

By living vicariously through all the other peoples blogs that I follow, I know I'm not the only one who has the feelings of being anxious and almost feeling like the deck is stacked against me. Well, I had a nice little chuckle driving into work not so "bright" and early (actually it was still pitch black(=, ha! ). I was listening to radio and the DJ started talking about "Not Giving Up Five Minutes Before the Miracle." Throughout this whole time that I've been waiting, I have seen a trend. I feel like I'm really close and then the tables turn to make me feel like I couldn't be further away. When things take a nose dive, I feel like I get a nudge and then a message to not give up and just hang on. I find it quite amusing!! Kind of..=)

Several blogs that I follow have families waiting for a court date or to pick up their child. It puts where I am at totally in perspective. I can almost feel the pain that they are going through. Nothing can compare to the pain of already holding "your" child and then having to be separated from them, oceans apart. Ugh! I hope these families are with their children again, very soon!!! The quote below was put up by one of those waiting families...

"...these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day."
a Living Bible translation of Habakkuk 2:3