I'm still here..

Wow!! It's been quite a few months since I've posted!! I'm still here!!

First off..I hope everyone out there in bloggy land has had a(let's see how many holidays have passed) Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!! I can't believe that it's January of 2012 already!!

I signed with my agency in February of 2011 and I definitely thought I'd be home with my little boy by now. I first want to say that this huge time lapse has nothing to do with my agency. In May 2011, they thought...according to my first homestudy date in June, I would be traveling to meet my lil guy by the end of the summer. They have been supportive and keep "checking in" with me but let me tell ya..each time they do it stings. I'm doing everything I can..and trust me...no one wants to meet and bring that lil guy home more than me!!

I've had quite a few set backs! While I have some really supportive people in my circle, I am finding out the one's who are not and it is surprising! I'm really glad I'm finding out now instead of later!! On the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm surprised to find out that some of my most supportive..well..supporters, are people I never would have thought to be..cray how things turn out!!!

I know God has a plan. All I can do now is continue to pray that whatever child is meant to be mine, is being cared for and has known love. Adoption from Russia has been in my heart for over 3 years now. Crazy huh!?!? God must have opened my heart to adopting a child from Russia for a reason. Throughout these last 3 years, that has been my goal and many of my decisions in life have been made around this, for this. Let me tell ya..it's been quite exhausting!! God opened my heart and I feel very strongly that this is what I'm supposed to do! Many, Many, Many obstacles have come up so far. But each time, I have been able to push a head and God clearly opens the path back up. I keep asking for prayers. God hears the multitudes!!!

I have 2 homestudy visits down and one to go. I've already had several documents expire..better get used to that..so I've heard anyway! =) I hope to start working on my little guys room very soon. This is part of one obstacle--waiting for my sister to come take her old bedroom furniture to her new home! Once she does, I can then schedule my last visit!! I am getting closer!! Prayers are needed because I feel like I'm at a standstill!!!!

This Christmas I received a present that has become very special to me. I think it was more of the thought behind it than anything else. I was asked what I wanted for Christmas. Well, I said I didn't really know how to answer this cause things are things. I have every "thing" that I really need. After losing my Grandpa, "things" don't really mean a whole lot. It's having loving, supportive, kind, caring, and reliable people in life that mean the most and make a difference. My little doggie is my complete WORLD (yes, I just typed that for the whole WWW to read, lol..I seriously don't know what I would do without her)and family is super important. Anyone close to me would probably know my response. I just want my lil guy home!! I knew that it wasn't possible tho, lol. Well, I mentioned many times in the past to this person about hedge hogs being part of Russian fairy tales and they know about matyoshkas. Much to my surprise, I unwrapped a Pandora bracelet with a hedge hog and a matryoshka charm!! Sooo sweet!! When I wear it, it makes me feel that much closer to my future little Russian!! Hopefully soon I will get to see his sweet lil face!!

Please pray that God can open certain hearts and for the child that is meant to be my child!!