Patience, What's That?

Ok.. I'm known to be a very calm and mellow person and most of the time, pretty patient. Notice I said "most" of the time. Now is not one of those times. I think my patience just took a huge jump out the window!!! In my previous post I talked about needing to find out some info about "things" so I can send all my info to my selected agency. I'm still waiting. I know, I know, welcome to International Adoption!! Big *sigh here!!! I can't proceed without this info because it all pertains to "where I stand." Ugh!!! My mom suggested saying some prayers and that "God hears a strange voice.' I told her that my voice should be very familiar by now!!!! =>

By living vicariously through all the other peoples blogs that I follow, I know I'm not the only one who has the feelings of being anxious and almost feeling like the deck is stacked against me. Well, I had a nice little chuckle driving into work not so "bright" and early (actually it was still pitch black(=, ha! ). I was listening to radio and the DJ started talking about "Not Giving Up Five Minutes Before the Miracle." Throughout this whole time that I've been waiting, I have seen a trend. I feel like I'm really close and then the tables turn to make me feel like I couldn't be further away. When things take a nose dive, I feel like I get a nudge and then a message to not give up and just hang on. I find it quite amusing!! Kind of..=)

Several blogs that I follow have families waiting for a court date or to pick up their child. It puts where I am at totally in perspective. I can almost feel the pain that they are going through. Nothing can compare to the pain of already holding "your" child and then having to be separated from them, oceans apart. Ugh! I hope these families are with their children again, very soon!!! The quote below was put up by one of those waiting families...

"...these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day."
a Living Bible translation of Habakkuk 2:3

Almost a new Year!!!

I can't believe that it is December 26th! Holy Wow!!! I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas! It was wonderful in my neck of the woods!! My family kept our traditions of going to mass Christmas Eve, my mom making dinner and then some gift giving. It was pretty low key and just relaxing! I came home and tried to watch "A Christmas Carol" but ended up falling asleep=)....*sigh...old age is creeping in=) Christmas day I sort of broke tradition. My church's choir sang at the Christmas Day mass and so I went there before going to my mom's and having her delicious Apple Puff Pancake. Mmmm!! OH-chin F-KOOSS-na (Delicious--testing out my newly acquired Russian(= ) Later on, my Mom, Grandma, my Sister and her Fiancee and I all gathered at my Aunt and Uncle's and FIVE(!) cousins for the afternoon and evening. It was great to get together with my family!

It's been a little over 2 years since losing my Grandpa and Christmas just doesn't feel right without him...something was definitely missing=( Everyone was thinking of him especially when we all had gathered to sing Christmas songs and started "Silent Night," his favorite. I couldn't help think as I was sitting there singing what my Grandpa would think of plans to adopt. He was always my "go to" for advice, ideas, etc. I think his destiny was to be a Grandpa. He would just beam with joy whenever he was with any one of his seven grandchildren. He was a calm and gentle man full of integrity. I have to admit...one of the most selfless, honest, and honorable people I've ever met. If I shared my thoughts with him, I feel like he'd say, "You have to follow your heart and as long as what you are doing is honest and moral, go for it." So, that is exactly what I'm going to do!!! I just wish he could be here to see his Great-Grandchildren.

As the year draws close to an end, I'm getting VERY anxious to jump full into this adoption. I spoke in depth to someone at the agency I would like to sign with and I have to send over some detailed info. Then, we'll go from there. Second test of patience..sending it over during the Holidays..more waiting(that's getting all to familiar & I know it'll only get worse, ha!!). I'm hoping and praying everything "looks" good and then I can sign and get started. I'm asking everyone to PLEASE keep this situation in their prayers!!

I would love to find out more about Russian traditions and culture. I'm going to be spending some of my waiting searching for books about it...if anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear about your finds!!

Happy St. Nicholas Day!!

I'm a little late in posting but Happy St. Nicholas Day to everyone!!

I can't believe that it is already the 6th of December! I'm staying quite busy and counting down the days till I can start this crazy process. I've spent so long hoping, praying, and anxiously awaiting for the new year. Now it is so so close! I'm very excited but at the same time, a tad nervous about what lies down the road ahead!!! I'm sooo close to taking the next big step and as always,ready to run...not walk! =)

Keep Up the Praying =)

I didn't sing with the choir at church this weekend because I had the opportunity to work. When I'm not singing with the choir, I like to go to the Sunday evening mass by myself. I like this mass! It is just very peaceful and I'm able to concentrate better. I'm usually one of the only people under say...30, but it's nice=)

The mass started and for some reason, my thoughts always seem to wonder to adoption when I have these quiet moments to myself. Things are so up in the air right now between Russia and the U.S. that I often still have doubts (I think my blog is beginning to sound like a broken record,*sigh* !! )= ). As I was sitting there, I thought to myself..."It would be great if I was given some sort of sign regarding this adoption." I know silly but hey, it's worth the thought for piece of mind. Well, the mass continues and then the priest begins the homily. He goes into detail about the reading from Exodus. Keep praying and don't stop. Just how the priest chose to say "With the power of prayer and perseverance, all things are possible." Loud and clear, I believe I got my sign. I believe that God has a way of teaching patience. If the Lord sees it fit and wants me to, he will make sure it happens. I just have to trust in the Lord. Maybe a little test in my faith?

Here are two lines from a couple of songs I heard the other day. I don't know the artist or title of either. =( They just spoke to me though.

"You've never lived until you live by faith, trust in fate"

"I wish I could see just three steps in front of me, but the lamp unto my feet does not move until I take a step."

Russia, US to Sign Child Adoption Deal by Year End

This was posted on RIA Novosti website dated September 30, 2010. I hope it is signed and announced sooner rather than later!!!

Russia and the United States are likely to sign a child adoption agreement by the end of 2010, the Russian Foreign Ministry spokesman said on Thursday.

"The text of the Russian-U.S. agreement on cooperation in international adoptions, intended to provide solid guarantees of adopted children's rights, was agreed upon during the bilateral consultations in July," Andrei Nesterenko told journalists in Moscow.

He said a final round of consultations, after which the document will be ready for signing, is expected to take place before the end of the year.

Russia is one of the largest sources of adoptions for U.S. families, accounting for about 10 percent of foreign adoptions. The mistreatment of Russian children, adopted in the United States, has begun attracting public attention in recent months as a result of a number of highly publicized incidents.

In June, a 7-year-old boy who was placed alone on a one-way flight to Moscow by his U.S. adoptive mother with a note claiming he was "psychopathic."

Following the case, Russia threatened to prohibit child adoptions by U.S. citizens until the countries sign an intergovernmental agreement guaranteeing the rights of adoptive children.

MOSCOW, September 30 (RIA Novosti)

A Weight Has Been Lifted

While I wait, I've been trying to immerse myself in any and all things Russian. So, when I noticed that an agency I've been looking into was holding a cultural event, I decided to go. They were hosting a Russian Folk Musical Group. Yea, road trip!

My mom came with me. I am sooooo lucky she is very supportive. I think having such a supportive family makes all the difference! It was great to be able to spend some quality time with my mom. Life is hectic and for the whole drive there and back we talked and talked. It was a decent drive except on the way back, it must have been skunk night!! Ugh!! Every few miles those little buggers would make themselves known...even when we got into our state!! PPPPUUUUUU!!

This musical group was very talented!!! I'm listening to their Cd's as I type=). I definitely enjoyed myself and I guess it showed. The band leader came up to me afterwards and said "It sure looked like you enjoyed the music." LOL!! The great thing is, they donate part of the proceeds to orphanages in Russia. So far, in the 10 or more years they have been in the US, over $100,000 has been raised!!! They tour all over the US. I had to crack up though. They mentioned that the night before they had played for over 100,000 people and then, I look around and they were playing for about 30 people...if that!!! Crazy! I got a kick out of all the kids. They all just automatically started dancing..like it was just in their blood and they remembered!!! =)

I said in a previous post that it seems like whenever I start to question this whole process, I somehow get a sign from the Man Upstairs to keep pushing along and to be patient. Well, the director/owner just happened to be there. What luck of mine! I asked to speak with her and she was very happy to. We started talking. I think I've mentioned before that I look really young. I usually get about 17...and I'm almost 25....Well, on goes our conversation and the director went on to say she thought I was one of their grown up adoptees!!!! OMG!!!! I had to laugh but at the same time, I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed!!! LOL!!! We all got a good laugh!! But anyway..through our conversation, she reassured me that my situation is fine and that it wouldn't be a problem...I'm young, healthy, etc. Even though it was late, she offered to give ud a tour of the offices/building, explained more things/the process, and answered any questions I had. I felt very comfortable and at ease. I appreciated that!

Now, onto more waiting and hopefully that agreement is signed SOON!!!

Thank You For The Music

For as long as I can remember, music has always been a big part of my life. Actually, when I stop and think about it, music has to do with many of the memories I have! I come from a musical family and music is embedded in many of our traditions. I have blurry memories of my mom, sister, and I making cookies at Christmas. We'd listen to "The Nutcracker Suite" by Tchaikovsky ( f.y.i a Russian composer) and thinking "I can't reach the table" and having to kneel. I was pretty young. Every holiday (Christmas, Birthday's, Family Sunday's, etc) with out fail, someone would whip out a guitar or play a piano and we'd all sing together. I remember thinking, my Grandpa was an absolute genius. We'd drive up North or someplace and he knew the name of every song on his radio station, the year it came out, and would then tell me a story or a memory he had of it.

This helped shape my love and appreciation for all types of music. Growing up I did theatre, choir, etc., and now have the opportunity to sing and play the drums with bands, record with local artists, and am blessed to cantor (lead the congregation in song) at my church. Everyone has their crutch and music has always been mine. I love how music can be everything from a joy to an extreme comfort and say the things we often can't. I'm so thankful God has given me the special gift of song and music. It is especially comforting now, when I hear a song that gives me hope and peace during this trial period. I hope one day I am able to share the love of music with my child. The song "Thank You for The Music" from Mamma Mia, says it all for me.

Thank You For The Music
I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore
When I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
cause everyone listens when I start to sing
I'm so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk
She says I began to sing long before I could talk
But I often wonder, how did it all start?
Who found out that nothing could capture a heart
Like a melody can?
Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me