More Updates and Retail Therapy!!

Wow, 2 posts in one day...a new record for me!!

I bought a nice journal about a year ago and said that I would start writing in that once I officially started my adoption process. I took it out the other night and made my first entry. =) I'm kind of a private person (the reason why I have no pictures on here) and find myself going into more detail about things there. Also, with me being so busy, I find it very hard to sit at the computer and blog. When I get home, I just want to spend time with my doggie. It's much more pleasant to snuggle up with her and write in the journal vs. having her lay by herself on the floor while I type away at the computer. I have that guilty mom syndrome already =).

I probably shouldn't be buying all the stuff that I do (and have bought), but one needs to do something while waiting for so long!!! Talk about RETAIL THERAPY!! I have talked about this adoption and my anxious feelings for so long, that I think my family is relieved that things are finally happening, lol, just to quit having to hear about it.=) My Grandma has said the whole time, "I don't get excited until things actually happen. It saves a lot of heartbreak if things don't work out." I wish I could take that stance!! My Grandma is such a strong women--she doesn't put up with any BS-- and is the most classy lady (and Mrs. Manners)I know!! I've always strived to be like her. The night I got back I visited her and she said "OOO, this means it's time to go shopping." =) The other day, I was talking about my purchases. Against my better judgement, I went and made a down payment on a new crib (no drop sided one's here--they were actually banned in my state recently) and bought a car seat and last week I bought an Ergo carrier. I feel great being able to finally buy the products I like instead of having to advise these new parents I work for on good products. Some take my advice and some don't--then finding out they should have, lol!! Frustrating!! My little guy has all his sippy cups--I bought some bottles/pacifiers to test out too--unfortunately I have no idea what he'll like. I also have towels, wash cloths, a variety of clothing sizes, some great Russian/adoption themed books and toys, etc.

Anyway, back to the point..my Grandma tells me "Stop buying stuff..you have to leave some things for me to buy." She's such a sweetheart!! I'm one of those independent people who won't ask for anything, but just knowing she wants to do this, from the bottom of my heart, it leaves me so grateful. She always has been like my second mom--the first person to hold me after I was born, and knowing that she's now getting excited and looking forward this journey, makes me sooo happy! I've always wanted my Grandma and Grandpa to get to meet my children and have them be as special to my children as they have been to me. Unfortunately, my Grandpa won't get to meet my little guy and that pretty much breaks my heart.=( I know he would just be so tickled to meet this little boy. He was seriously the world's greatest Grandpa (and dad to me) and would have loved to be a Great Grandpa.

I totally went off on a tangent with this post, lol! I think what I'm getting at is..everyone is now getting excited and I'm beginning to tell some of my extended family and more friends. I told my cousin the other day. She was an older first time mom and had premature twin girls...less than 2#'s at birth. I think I was about 14/15 and having lots of "kid" experience, went and stayed with her and her husband to help. I was the only one who could get the littler twin to eat (sometimes with out projectile vomiting) =) and it was a great experience!! They were on heart monitors and if they went off in the middle of the night, we'd both leap out of bed and each check on a baby. We'd both crack up about how quick we'd get in there and how disoriented we were!! I always thought a lot of her and since doing that, we have become a lot closer. I told her the other day and she seemed surprised. I asked her if she was shocked and she was like "No!" She wants to hear more about it and we are meeting next week to talk! =)

I'm soo happy that even more family supports me in this awesome decision! Many people are curious why I'm doing this now. I've said all along..anyone who really knows me, knows how I love kids and will understand. I'm glad that I'm finding this to be true!